(no subject)

This is an old, dead journal that I had in my late teens-early twenties hence no activity or friends.

I'm back only to join/lurk on a few communities, specifically things that I remember from my teen years that have sentimental value.

If you want proof that I am an actual real human being, my instagram is l1vedo and it was last updated today.

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Was trying to buy a new part of pants today at Trash and Vaudville and Jimmy was telling some friend with teased hair about how he used to suck dick for heroin when he was young.

I was like " um do you realize there is someone looking at teh pants rack 5 feet from you and I can hear like everything you guys are talking about". Not that it actually mattered that I was close mind you. he was shouting so loud Im fairly certain the whole store could have heard him .

I mean, I knew he was a drug user from just like...word of mouth, but I didnt know it was like THAT. But mostly you know, does he want some snot-nosed pants buying kid to know he used to be a pro for heroin? However it does explain why he looks like he's like 69 when he really 50.

(no subject)

things I got for holiday gifts:

- Ipod Nano to replace the one I lost on the train <333333
- 5'' black platform pumps
- Vania Zouravaliov's first artbook, I think 90% of people currently freaking out over this art god found out about him from this book, I knew about him for a while before that from his original myspace.
-Takato Yamamoto's third? art book, I beleive- Rib Bone of the Hermaphrodite
-beautiful black victorian style hairbrush and makeup brush stand from Anna Sui

Besides the Ipod and the Takato Yamamoto book [ which was only available from YesAsia which means it'll probably arrive in like another year] none of this stuff that costly. Anna Sui stuff SHOULD have been hella expensive, but ebay madde everything okay. I have $16 left which I will use to get a hella awsome incense dish. But now, to painting and waiting for Takato Yamamoto. Life is good!

new years resolutions:

-move out of tiny apartment from hell

- Stop eating horrible foods and suger and pizza. learn to prepare meals. Keep taking those weird fish liver tablets.


(no subject)

I made a new friend.


Him: I have never paid a model in my life.
Me: yeah?
Him: yeah why the fuck would I pay a model? I'm a working proffesional , cleints pay ME and then the model if thats how it works out. Why would I pay a model? What so I can see tits? I can go to a bar and get some williamburg slut to show me hers for free. Maybe buy her a drink or something.

from now on, I dont work with any male photographers who doesnt make jokes about williamburg sluts. Srsly.

basically I was telling him fun stories of alt "models" who charge money so some photographer can get scene points by having them on their model mayhem prot. you know besidses Apnea I dont think any of these girls stand a chance in hell of making money as models of any nature 5-10 year down the road. yet, they refuse to get any kind of education. It is funny that one day Audrey Kitching will probably be old and living with her mom or on MTV real world.

also this is the most hidious woman I have ever seen that people seem to consider attractive:




dont be fooled by the side of her head. she's not deffrawk, she just has that ONE side shaved,.....like a mental patient. Apperently her mother was some kind of famous model back in the day which makes me wonder why the hell she is so busted in the face. Now she is the new edgy flavor of the month apperently? Like Agyness Deyn, but with spam for thighs and ill with some kind of Kurt Cobian infautaion.
  • Current Music
    Venetain Snares-dance like your're selling nails

(no subject)

I just dreamt I had sexual relations with...nevermind, it's too wrong to be written. Let's just say its a person of questionable gender who is an inspiration to all HARDCORE GAWTHS in teh german-speaking lands.

Now on the subject of real life, I ripped one of my earlobes today ;__________; There was blood all over the fucking place. I'm probably going to have scar tissue there now. Apperently a 0g tapered horsehoe is too fucking heavy to leave in your ear for even as little as 14 hours.And it felt fine until I took it out, that was when it started gushed and I couldnt get my awsome black gemed 0g tunnel in.

I think I'll just halt all stetching until like...next year. I already made a whole bunch of mistakes. But at the same time, I dont even want huge fucking tribal ears! I just want them to be big enough to wear those awsome resin plugs with the bugs inside ;___;

(no subject)

Well today has been a shitty day. I got nothing done because everything I needed to do was closed for no fucking reason. Some idiot I never met before harrassed me on the street. Then lo and behold, someone who barly knows my name decided to call me with their PEICE OF SHIT PHONE that is like 10 fucking years old and always has terrible reception and I THINK they asked me if they can come over to my apartment? I dont know because I kept saying OVER AND OVER in that conversatiuon I DO NOT FUCKING HEAR YOU PLEASE CAN YOU SAY THAT AGAN. I just got my phone replaced too, so their is NO way it is a problem on my end. Then they got all pissy and butthurt because apperently I didnt answer? probably trying to figure out weather the fucking phone call was still connected or or not. Then I literally asked " do you want to come over " and "if you want to come over" several times. I got some weird ego hurt BS about how he has to figure out by himself and to 'just forget it". Why, because I didnt answer in the magic window period of like 5 fucking seconds and that makes all the emotional difference? GET A FUCKING LIFE. YOU'RE PUSHING 40, stop bitching like a ten year old with a skinned knee and GET YOUR FUCKING PHONE REPLACED. And dont fucking blame me and act like I'm a bitchy for NOT HEARING WHAT THE FUCK YOU WERE SAYING.

You call me stupid, spoiled and ugly [ " I'm not saying your're stupid, I saying the stuff you did was stupid" <---- wtf? ] and now I'M supposed to feel bad because your phone is worth less then a fucking paperweight and you cant make up for FIVE SECONDS of silence? I

(no subject)

so many ideas....so little time.

I have too much cool sketchs in my sketchbook which I cannot manifest.

alsol, who the fuck decided silkscreen is easy? I spent 3 hours last thursday preparing the same screen because every imaginable thing that could do wrong, did. maaaan.

I also shot a magazine editorial for Make up For Ever so when they actually tell me what magazine it's gonna be in, i will post it to brag. According to Erin, the MUA I worked the most with, her boss really likes me and their new budget killed the option of hiring agency girls. she said it would probably be Zink though.

(no subject)

I think I might have actually ripped my 4g earlobe slightly because it stings. It didnt sting before for THIS long any of the other time I switched to a lower gauge so I am a bit concerned.

I have grown utterly sick of someone because I finally got tired of being treated like a doormat and and stupid annoying brat that they force themselves to assocaite with as a act of charity but they have something insignificant of mine that lent them one day when I was tired and just wanted them to leave me alone. It's not the thing itself so much as the idea of them getting free shit from me AFTER treating like such crap [the last "friend" I remember who looked down on me this much was 5 years ago] infuriates me. My mom says she'll just buy me another one and it's not worth it to drag out even talking them over something that costs less then $20. The nasty and demeaning attitude, Im not actually mad at them for, actually, because I allowed them do that for a VERY long time so it's really no one's fault but my own. I mean that.

  • Current Music
    bakterielle Infektion

(no subject)

have stretched my ears to 4G and 6g respectively [ one is behind the other].

am making a beast out of wood. It has far outgrown the orignal design and consumed my life. That is all.